Triple F's....

Food, fun and fellowship! That is what our last five days have been all about. Not much to say other than we had a terrific Thanksgiving, and some great days afterwards as well. Eating, playing games, eating, watching parades with lots of lights, more eating, shopping for "a brand new penguin at Lemonards", Christmas tree decorating, eating and birthday partying with even more eating took up all of our time. It's super late, I should be in bed right now and so I think I will just let the pictures speak for themselves.....

Lily snuggling with Uncle Joshy!

Great Aunt Kim and as Ella would say, "She is a great Aunt too".

The Gamers!

Jeremy's poorly executed distraction plan for winning the Big Shake! You should be ashamed of yourself and you didn't even win.

Poor Austin almost cracked under the pressure!

The girls were all worn out......

Parade of lights-Downtown Sioux Falls. It was cold but we were ready!

Grace apparently likes the new High School Musical ornament!

Ella with Tom and Jerry

And Lily enjoying her "Lily the Fairy" ornament

OK Mom, enough pictures, let's get the show on the road....

"I did a great job putting the star on, didn't I?" says Lily after her first turn ever.

The finished product

Partyin' at the Pizza Ranch! Happy Birthday Claire, Hannah and Gabe!

The love birds!

And one final parting shot......

Happy Thanksgiving to you all! I hope you were able to spend some time with those you are thankful for (and were still thankful for them when that time was all over)!

It's official......

I turned old this weekend. There were two events that occurred that aged me. First, my little Ella Bella lost two teeth. She's only five. She shouldn't be losing teeth yet. When we first noticed these teeth were loose, she cried a little bit saying she wasn't ready to lose her teeth yet and that she wanted to stay small. I felt her pain. I want her to stay small too but alas, it is not meant to be. Friday night, Jason tugged the first tooth out. The second one was ready also but the whole event bordered on traumatic and Ella opted to wait on the other. Last night I asked her if I could take a look at the other tooth and it was definitely ready. Finessing it out was more my method and it produced much less dramatic results. She ended up with two visits from the tooth fairy and was eagerly anticipating being seranaded with "The Tooth Song" from her classmates this morning!

Notice the red eyes in this picture and the lack of in the next. Guess which one Mommy pulled!
The second aging event transpired when Grace and I were driving to Girl Scouts on Saturday afternoon. As I was flipping through the radio stations, I came across a song that Grace really wanted to listen to. Being the good sport that I am, I left it on that song even though it wasn't my first choice. After about 30 seconds, I uttered the words that immediately labels you as old, "What is this song? Ugh, it's terrible. I can't believe you can like this crap." As soon as I said it, I knew it, I am old. However, maybe it would be best for me to look at it not as me getting old but rather, Grace is maturing. Thinking back on the past several months, I have noticed a trend with Grace and I. In looking at clothes, many of the items I have selected for her and felt sure were "her style" have turned out to garner a groan, an eyeroll and even a "Yuck!". We have been looking for new bedding for her room and each set I was confident was perfect, elicited the same response as the clothes. I have been trying to deny it but my baby is growing up. She is no longer just an extension of me but an individual with her own ideas and thoughts. It appears we are exiting childhood and entering adolescence. It is the stage all mothers of girls dread and the frightening thought is there is a very long road ahead of me and I am just backing out of the driveway. It is impossible for me to count the number of times I have heard the comment, "Oh wow, three girls. Just wait until they are teenagers!". It's a scary thought, I'm not going to lie. Uncharted waters and I am without a life jacket. Up to this point, I have done OK. By no stretch of the imagination am I the perfect mother but I have my moments. It's this new stage that I am supremely worried about. I'll be the first to admit, I am a bit of a control freak and know that is something I am going to need to overcome in order to even stand a chance. It doesn't always have to be my way or the highway. We have hit a crossroads and I have many adjustments ahead of me. For the past eight years, Grace has been my shadow, my mini me and now I need to regroup and realize she is her own person with her own opinions, likes and dislikes. And the real kicker is, that doesn't make her wrong! So, while I am officially old, it looks like I still have a lot of growing up to do!

You hear the cliche that children represent your past, present and future. This is something I have been thinking a lot about and really see the truth in it. Obviously my girls are my present as I live it every day; the good, the bad and the ugly. My children represent my future literally and figuratively as they carry on Jason and I's genetics and are an extention of us physically but also because they are our legacy. Memories, traditions and a way of life will be carried on through our girls. But the past is the portion that has eluded me when I have considered this sentiment. However, recently I have begun to really see how this is true. When I listen to Grace talk with her friends and classmates, I am instantly transported back to 4th grade, sitting on the desk in Mrs. Jokumsen's class with Sarah laughing at Kevin and Joe. I am on the playground at St. James Elementary paying Touhey $.10 to act as our bodyguard against Paul and Shaun. Grace's reluctance and worry about spending the night at a friend's house takes me back to my mom forcing me to overcome my fears and go to birthday parties. (I bet she kind of regrets that now!!!!) Looking at Grace, I can really see myself at eight years old and am afraid I will be able to see myself at 12, 13, etc. and that is just terrifying. I can anticipate the struggles and pain that is to come but there is really nothing I can do to prevent them from coming. I need to learn to support without interfering. Be involved without smothering. Be strong but not overbearing. This is going to be hard but I know it will be rewarding as well. Last night I had two moments that gave me the strength and knowledge that I am capable. As I was working that tooth out of Ella's mouth and she remained calm, so calm that she didn't even believe me when I told her it was out, I was proud. I knew I had done everything just right and I felt like a real live mom. The kind of mom you see on TV who always says the right thing and acts just the right way. I was her for a moment and it felt good. On a roll, I was able to soothe Grace's fears about going to a friend's house afterschool today and then on to a movie. I empathized and consoled. Again, I knew I had acted just as she needed me to. I know it's there somewhere and so I know I can do it. And with that, I will go forward today and do my best. I know mistakes are coming but I had a good teacher and can rely on my past to get me through my future.

What is Thanksgiving really about, giving thanks or the food?

Interesting question from one of Ella's friends in her Kindergarten class. Of course Thanksgiving is for giving thanks for all the blessings in one's life but I would argue that the food is pretty dang important as well. This train of thought took me down the "what am I really thankful for" track. While I don't want to take away from the significance of the usual suspects; family, friends, a place to live, money in my pocket and food on the table, I created quite a list of miscellaneous blessings that I would like to share with you all. I am thankful for (in no particular order):

*My carpool which saves me from ever having to drive to school in the morning
*Casa Del Rey
*Jodi Picoult, Mary Higgins Clark and Debbie Macomber-authors who write vastly different
types of books that entertain me equally
*Kenra Thermal Styling Spray
*Holiday Clearinghouse-an organization that matches families in need with donors who provide
Christmas gifts and items they would not otherwise have. A wonderful cause and I would
encourage you all to check it out at http://www.helplinecenter.org/hch.php
*Minerva's cheese spread
*My CD burner
*Sioux Falls Park and Rec so I can continue to play volleyball even though I am old
*Diet Coke
*Having a husband who can fix anything
*Health insurance
*90210 reruns
*Culver's snack pack and chocolate custard
*My blue step stool that I got for a wedding shower gift many moons ago
*Regis and Kelly
*Rubbermaid totes so I can organize the girls' old clothes
*Augustana College
*Email
*Spaghetti, chocolate chip cookies and hot cha-chas
*AAA Refrigeration and Appliances as they are rock star appliance fixers
*Being able to stay home with my girls
*Father Lawerence
*Our fireplaces
*ER and ANTM(for those of you who are non-fans, aka-America's Next Top Model)
*Main floor laundry
*Green Giant Chicken Teriakyi Create a Meal
*Vicki-the friendliest HyVee cashier (and also the dairy guy and meat counter guy-I don't know
their names but they are always so nice to me and the girls)
*Adjustable foot pedals in my car
*Target
*People who read and enjoy my blog
*My camera
*Ice and water in the door of my fridge
*My perfect jeans from The Gap
*Peanut smiles
*Fryn' Pan's chili and french dressing
*Our electric pencil sharpener
*Bird's Eye steam fresh vegetables-especially the corn and mixed vegetables
*Walmart.com photo center
*Southeastern Behavioral HealthCare's Festival of Trees-An awesome way to get into the
holiday spirit while supporting a great organization. Check it out at the Arena this weekend! http://www.southeasternbh.org/Festival_of_Trees.html
*Online shopping and banking
*My Pampered chef bar spatula
*Old Navy bonus bucks and their stuff and save bag
*Spell check
*Bob and Mary-our old neighbors
*Timberlodge's peppercorn sauce and their bread and butter
*Diners, Drive Ins and Dives and Guy Fieri
*Peanut Butter Twix
*Jason's old Army tshirts which are now my PJ's
*Dairy Queen cherry arctic rushes
*Caramel Pecan danishes from HyVee
*Schmidt's Bakery glazed doughnuts
*JAKES PIZZA

I couldn't believe how fast all of these things came to me. Proof to me, anyway, the small things in life do matter! All of these things bring me joy and I challenge each of you to spend a few minutes sometime in the next week reflecting on the things for which you are thankful-no matter how big or small!

Move over Ella, there's a new fashionista in town....

Actual conversation yesterday while helping Lily get ready for church yesterday:

Lily: "I want that dress."

Mom: "OK."

Lily: "Caaannn IIIII wear this headband?"

Mom: "Sure."

Lily (after putting it on): "It's perfect. I look adorable."

I couldn't have said it better myself.

Much Ado About Nothing.....

Today started off as it usually does for me, with the making of "the list". Every day I have a list that is my guide, my template, my progress marker. I base my entire day, every day on "the list" never deviating or going off course. I check things off as they are completed and try to always complete the tasks in sequence. This sense of order keeps me on track. If something is written down, I won't forget it. It's safe. I know the dishwasher will be unloaded at precisely the right moment and the girls will be picked up from school. When I make my list, I know there is no chance I will forget to take a shower or make lunch. All will be right with the world. And so, today I made my list. On it were items including putting my sweaters in my closet and taking my shorts out, vacuuming, dusting the blinds, etc. etc., you get the picture. Anyway, without warning, I veered off course. I had a sink full of hot, soapy water and I made the spontaneous decision to mop the floor even though that was clear down at the bottom of my list. This was wild stuff, unknown territory that I was venturing into and guess what.......it was invigorating. The floor was mopped without any of the usual "argh, I just hate mopping the floor" pretense. It turned into something as easy as a chore that needed to be done and then suddenly it was just done and I hadn't anguished, toiled or even grumbled about it. Now I imagine most of you are bewildered. How could this possibly be blog worthy, you may be asking yourself? I realize I am exposing my complete and utter neurotic behavior and I am cool with that. What you don't realize is how this freed me and gave me a whole new outlook on the day. I was no longer tethered to my list. When Jason unexpectedly was off of work at lunchtime rather than working all day as I had anticipated, I decided to go do some Christmas shopping. Not on "the list" but something that needed to be done, something maybe for Monday's list. I went, I shopped, I conquered. Christmas shopping is almost finito! How terrific! After picking up a pizza, another command decision made on the spot, I was on my way home. I was greeted with three happy little faces and one happy big face! We enjoyed our delicious Boss' Pizza (those of you who haven't tried it, really should) and then Jason was off to watch two big guys beat each other up on TV and the girls and I retired to the basement loaded up with popcorn and ice cream to watch Kit Kitteridge. Not once in my wildest dreams did I imagine the toe curling, eye covering that was to come as a result of this surprisingly suspense-filled movie. Poor old Ella was watching through her fingers at one point, just as I watched "The Strangers" last weekend. I don't want to ruin it for you so I will not reveal the plot but it's worth a watch! Good, clean fun! For me the best part of the movie was when Lily leaned her head over and snuggled in, Grace reached for my hand and Ella came over to sit on my lap. It was one of those moments where you can actually feel your heart grow. It reaffirmed to me that I need to ditch the list. With the exception of the floor being mopped, nothing I had planned for today was crossed of my list. However, I knew my accomplishments were far more than anything I could have listed. Tomorrow I think I am just going to wing it!

***Oh, and this is a picture of Lily, still just sitting and waiting for Papa to come and take her to the zoo. She is furious as you can probably tell by her expression.

Dance, Dance Revolution

We had Dance Party USA make a stop at our house last night! Grace worked all morning to choreograph this dance. It is my sneaking suspicion that Ella and Lily didn't quite follow the routine to a T but Grace seems to deal with it OK! And in case any of you were wondering, yes, the leotard Lily is rockin' was one I sported back in my glory days! It's holding up pretty good for being 30 years old, don't you think? Enjoy!

Through my eyes.......

Scary thought for some, I know, the world through my eyes! Lately I have been doing a lot of thinking about my interactions with other people and how to make them (the interactions not the people) better. As a disclaimer, I would like to say that these thoughts are in no way, shape or form directed at any one person or situation but rather just a compilation of thoughts and observations I have had overall. Dealing with people is hard whether it is family, friends, teachers, the PTA, doctors or the lady who honked at me when I didn't start driving the second the light turned green. While reflecting I considered the age old saying, "You can't change other people, you can only change yourself". And of course, the oldie but goodie, "You can't control a situation but you can control your reaction to it". As I thought about these ideas it occurred to me, in relationships there are many things I spend too much time on when I should reshift my focus to other, more productive ideas. For example, I spend too much time feeling guilty and not enough time feeling regretful. The way I look at it, guilt is a state of being, not a feeling. Why waste time feeling guilty for something when you could just be sorry and try to make amends? Guilt is such a time and energy zapper. Face it~everything you do is either by your own free choice or occurs by happenstance. If it was done by your own free choice, what's the point of feeling guilty? You did it. You made the decision and acted on it and there is nothing you can do to change it. Once something is done, you can either feel OK with your decision and move on or you can regret it and try to make amends. If something is an accident or you had no control over the situation, why would you feel guilty? It wasn't your fault so why anguish over it? Of course, feeling remorse or regret would still be appropriate in an accidental situation but guilt seems a little overdramatic.

Another thing I spend too much time on is trying to change others when my time and energy would be much better spent just accepting them. It really can be just as easy as realizing that people are the way they are and you can either accept them as is or write them off. Accepting a person doesn't mean you are approving of their choices or way of going about things, it is simply realizing you want or need them in your life. That being said, accepting your situation does not preclude you from trying to improve it. I think it's OK to let someone know you aren't exactly jumping for joy when he or she hurts you but you have to leave it up to them to make the change. And again, sometimes there may be a point for your own peace, you aren't able to accept someone and need to move on. I think that's OK too.

Getting others to see things from my perspective rather than trying to see things from theirs is another area that I need to work on. It is impossible for me to know all of the other factors influencing the other person's behavior or decision. So often I think of the situation in a bubble without once considering what else may be going on in their lives. If I want others to see my point, it is imperative that I at least make an attempt at understanding theirs.


Keeping score is the next fault I need to work on. I mean this in two different ways. First, I need to not worry about being treated "fairly". What I need financially, emotionally, physically varies and is different than what others may need. As I tell the girls all the time, things aren't always going to be fair. I always have enough and I always have what I need, even if I don't see that right away. The second point I am thinking of in regards to keeping score is in reference to holding grudges. There is no reason for me to "keep track" of any and all of the times someone has hurt me. It doesn't matter. I make the choice to have relationships with whom I choose to have relationships with and so I need to realize that at times, things aren't going to be perfect. I need to remember this if for no other reason than I know how much I dislike hearing about all of the imperfect things I have done in the past. There comes a time to just let it go.

And the final point I reflected on during my self examination is how much time I spend making excuses and justifying my actions rather than owning up to my mistakes and attempting to make changes. Bottomline is I can be a big mouth and I screw up. That's just the way it is. Once that happens, I can try to excuse the problem away or I can look at what I did, why I did it and how I can try to better next time. Acknowledging my mistakes and apologizing for them is very, very hard for me but something that I really need to work on as it is a huge deal. There are some things I am good at and some that I am horrible at. I need to keep in mind that is the case for everyone else and give them a break, just as I would hope others would give me a break when I mess up.

It is not my intention to pass myself off as a self help guru. These ramblings make sense to me and I have found them interesting to ponder on. If you find them interesting and maybe helpful as well, that's cool. If not, that's cool too. I just know dealing with people, especially those you care deeply about, can be difficult and frustrating but it is the basis of all of our lives and there is nothing more important to me than the relationships that I am blessed enough to have.

Falling back......

Grace is Totally 80's for her school party!

Lily, our little dancing girl

Starring Grace as Gabriella from HSM3

Florence Nightingale

Papa, the cake burglar, is BUSTED!

What awesome weather but it sounds like we are enjoying the last few nice days before winter sets in. Luckily we had great weather for trick or treating, especially since I was the designated trick or treating chaperone this year. Jason usually leads the troops but he was relegated to candy hander outer this due to his hernia surgery. Although he is healing like the Superman that he is and was certain he would be up to the task, I decided we would all be better served if we switched positions just for a year. The terrific weather plus three fabulously costumed Halloweeners equals a very successful spin around the neighborhood! The girls collected a ridiculous amount of loot, had a really fun time and Lily only got totally freaked out once. There was one house that had a scary skeleton head on the front steps that made noise and some contraption hidden in the bushes that made them shake. It was too much for Lily and luckily it was still daylight out when we hit that house because I think the whole trip may have taken a quick downward turn if it had been dark.

Saturday morning had us up and after a quick lunch at Fryn Pan, we were off to STJ for Emma Jo's 5th birthday party. Our quick trip to St. James was filled with Jakes Pizza, three games of Scrabble and lots of outside playing for the kids. Before we knew it, we were back in the car and headed for yet another birthday party. Byron and Catherine (our brother in law and niece) were celebrating their birthdays and we made it back just in time to join the Kolb clan for one last hurrah before shutting the weekend down.

Hope you all had an enjoyable weekend and were able to get out and enjoy the sun!