Dance, Dance Revolution

We had Dance Party USA make a stop at our house last night! Grace worked all morning to choreograph this dance. It is my sneaking suspicion that Ella and Lily didn't quite follow the routine to a T but Grace seems to deal with it OK! And in case any of you were wondering, yes, the leotard Lily is rockin' was one I sported back in my glory days! It's holding up pretty good for being 30 years old, don't you think? Enjoy!

Through my eyes.......

Scary thought for some, I know, the world through my eyes! Lately I have been doing a lot of thinking about my interactions with other people and how to make them (the interactions not the people) better. As a disclaimer, I would like to say that these thoughts are in no way, shape or form directed at any one person or situation but rather just a compilation of thoughts and observations I have had overall. Dealing with people is hard whether it is family, friends, teachers, the PTA, doctors or the lady who honked at me when I didn't start driving the second the light turned green. While reflecting I considered the age old saying, "You can't change other people, you can only change yourself". And of course, the oldie but goodie, "You can't control a situation but you can control your reaction to it". As I thought about these ideas it occurred to me, in relationships there are many things I spend too much time on when I should reshift my focus to other, more productive ideas. For example, I spend too much time feeling guilty and not enough time feeling regretful. The way I look at it, guilt is a state of being, not a feeling. Why waste time feeling guilty for something when you could just be sorry and try to make amends? Guilt is such a time and energy zapper. Face it~everything you do is either by your own free choice or occurs by happenstance. If it was done by your own free choice, what's the point of feeling guilty? You did it. You made the decision and acted on it and there is nothing you can do to change it. Once something is done, you can either feel OK with your decision and move on or you can regret it and try to make amends. If something is an accident or you had no control over the situation, why would you feel guilty? It wasn't your fault so why anguish over it? Of course, feeling remorse or regret would still be appropriate in an accidental situation but guilt seems a little overdramatic.

Another thing I spend too much time on is trying to change others when my time and energy would be much better spent just accepting them. It really can be just as easy as realizing that people are the way they are and you can either accept them as is or write them off. Accepting a person doesn't mean you are approving of their choices or way of going about things, it is simply realizing you want or need them in your life. That being said, accepting your situation does not preclude you from trying to improve it. I think it's OK to let someone know you aren't exactly jumping for joy when he or she hurts you but you have to leave it up to them to make the change. And again, sometimes there may be a point for your own peace, you aren't able to accept someone and need to move on. I think that's OK too.

Getting others to see things from my perspective rather than trying to see things from theirs is another area that I need to work on. It is impossible for me to know all of the other factors influencing the other person's behavior or decision. So often I think of the situation in a bubble without once considering what else may be going on in their lives. If I want others to see my point, it is imperative that I at least make an attempt at understanding theirs.


Keeping score is the next fault I need to work on. I mean this in two different ways. First, I need to not worry about being treated "fairly". What I need financially, emotionally, physically varies and is different than what others may need. As I tell the girls all the time, things aren't always going to be fair. I always have enough and I always have what I need, even if I don't see that right away. The second point I am thinking of in regards to keeping score is in reference to holding grudges. There is no reason for me to "keep track" of any and all of the times someone has hurt me. It doesn't matter. I make the choice to have relationships with whom I choose to have relationships with and so I need to realize that at times, things aren't going to be perfect. I need to remember this if for no other reason than I know how much I dislike hearing about all of the imperfect things I have done in the past. There comes a time to just let it go.

And the final point I reflected on during my self examination is how much time I spend making excuses and justifying my actions rather than owning up to my mistakes and attempting to make changes. Bottomline is I can be a big mouth and I screw up. That's just the way it is. Once that happens, I can try to excuse the problem away or I can look at what I did, why I did it and how I can try to better next time. Acknowledging my mistakes and apologizing for them is very, very hard for me but something that I really need to work on as it is a huge deal. There are some things I am good at and some that I am horrible at. I need to keep in mind that is the case for everyone else and give them a break, just as I would hope others would give me a break when I mess up.

It is not my intention to pass myself off as a self help guru. These ramblings make sense to me and I have found them interesting to ponder on. If you find them interesting and maybe helpful as well, that's cool. If not, that's cool too. I just know dealing with people, especially those you care deeply about, can be difficult and frustrating but it is the basis of all of our lives and there is nothing more important to me than the relationships that I am blessed enough to have.

Falling back......

Grace is Totally 80's for her school party!

Lily, our little dancing girl

Starring Grace as Gabriella from HSM3

Florence Nightingale

Papa, the cake burglar, is BUSTED!

What awesome weather but it sounds like we are enjoying the last few nice days before winter sets in. Luckily we had great weather for trick or treating, especially since I was the designated trick or treating chaperone this year. Jason usually leads the troops but he was relegated to candy hander outer this due to his hernia surgery. Although he is healing like the Superman that he is and was certain he would be up to the task, I decided we would all be better served if we switched positions just for a year. The terrific weather plus three fabulously costumed Halloweeners equals a very successful spin around the neighborhood! The girls collected a ridiculous amount of loot, had a really fun time and Lily only got totally freaked out once. There was one house that had a scary skeleton head on the front steps that made noise and some contraption hidden in the bushes that made them shake. It was too much for Lily and luckily it was still daylight out when we hit that house because I think the whole trip may have taken a quick downward turn if it had been dark.

Saturday morning had us up and after a quick lunch at Fryn Pan, we were off to STJ for Emma Jo's 5th birthday party. Our quick trip to St. James was filled with Jakes Pizza, three games of Scrabble and lots of outside playing for the kids. Before we knew it, we were back in the car and headed for yet another birthday party. Byron and Catherine (our brother in law and niece) were celebrating their birthdays and we made it back just in time to join the Kolb clan for one last hurrah before shutting the weekend down.

Hope you all had an enjoyable weekend and were able to get out and enjoy the sun!

Why didn't the skelton cross the road?

Because he didn't have any guts! The annual pumpkin carving finally happened! The girls just love it and so do I because Jason does all the gross work and I get to be the photographer. Here are the before pictures....

The during pictures........

The picture of Lily eating the pumpkin after some gentle encouragement from Grace.....

And the final results!

Oh, and what do you call two witches who live together????

BROOMMATES!

Happy Almost Halloween from the Kolbs!

My Ella Bella

In the past twenty four hours, Ella has been in typical Ella form which inspired me to list the top ten reasons I love her:

10. Her sensational fashion sense. She has an uncanny ability to put together an unforgettable ensemble.

9. Her determination and ability to just pick things up, i.e. potty training, monkey barring, bike riding and tying her shoes are all things she figured out in, literally, a day. Sometimes she just gets it.

8. When she dances or sings, she totally doesn't get it that other people can see her but gets embarrassed when she realizes they do. Most recently she was doing a hula dance during Mass and Uncle Clifford caught a glimpse and she was mortified.

7. How she can make Grace the Stoneface laugh like no one else can.

6. The intensity with which she experiences emotions. Some may call it being a Drama Queen but I prefer to call it a passion for life. It is this intensity that was the basis for two of her funnier comments lately: Last night I asked her three different times to put away the stuff on her table. I finally became exasperated and raised my voice. She did it without a word and hopped into bed. About five minutes later she came stomping out of her room in the "I'm ticked off, slumped shoulder position" we all know and love and informed me, "You know, usually you are pretty nice to me but right now, you are being a real jerk." How do you respond to that? Second, this morning when I told her she was the only Kolb girl going to school today because Grace was still sick, she became hysterical and cried, "I never knew something like this could happen." After I reminded her how excited her teacher and classmates would be to see her and how worried they must have been yesterday when she was gone, she replied, "That's true.", dried her tears and put on her shoes.

5. Her own personal Ella quirks: the way she laughs in her sleep, the way she lays her clothes out on the floor the night before school-she lays them out so they actually look like a person laying on her floor, how she covers up all of her stuffed animals when she gets out of bed, the way she always has friends but can never remember their names, how she says playground commitment instead of playground equipment.

4. How she is the sort of person I would love to be. She is so generous, giving up her favorite necklace to Lily when she realized how much Lily loved it. And she is completely honest and genuine. She says what she is feeling and means it with her whole heart and soul. Sometimes that can get a person into trouble but it takes courage that many people do not have.

3. Her stories. She starts talking the minute she gets up in the morning and doesn't stop until long after she has been tucked into bed. I guess all that talking explains why she has to take breaths between all her words.

2. The dichotomy that is Ella: She is incredibly kind and loving but fiercely protective when she feels she or anyone she cares about has been wronged. She is so independent but needy and loves a good snuggle. Her all encompassing desire to be funny and make others laugh but her extreme aversion to having others laugh AT her. These qualities make Ella a very interesting but unpredictable individual.

1. Because when she tells me she is going to be a veterinarian, a jewelry designer or a singer when she grows up, I believe her.

And as I did with Lily, I have a couple of add ons for Ella as well,
***How much she loves Oreos

***Her intense focus on whatever it is that she is doing allows her to completely become one with whatever TV show or movie she happens to be watching. So much so that it sometimes is more entertaining to watch her watch a show then to watch the show itself. She's like her daddy that way!

Fritzie-I just love you with all my heart.

E=mc2

We spent an hour at the park this afternoon enjoying the waning days of relative warmth. We brought Baby Einstein and her two goofy sisters with us. Enjoy the weekend!

You are my sunshine, Josh!

Another weekend is coming to a close and it was another event filled, action packed one. My little brother Josh decided to visit us from the big city of Apple Valley. Now, he will not admit this but I do believe this visit was for purely selfish reasons on his part. He has been just itching to get a mention and even better, a picture posted on this blog and this weekend we found out just how far he would go to get this item scratched off his "to do" list, about 500 miles and 8 hours. He says he came to to hang out and because he hadn't been here in a while but I think we all know the truth of the matter!

Anyway, we had a big weekend planned and it started off with a birthday party that Grace and Ella were invited to. Unfortunately as soon as I got home from dropping them off, I received the "Mommy, can you come and get me?" call from Ella. I was totally surprised as she was at a very familiar friend's house but apparently there were just too many people there that she didn't know. I tried to convince her to stay but being a hard head like her mommy, she was not swayed. Luckily, the party was just a few blocks away and I ran right over and got her. She played it off though by telling me "I wanted to see Daddy and Joshy anyway." Josh showed up right as pulled into the garage and the fun began. Our plans were to introduce Josh to our dining out mainstay, Fryn' Pan but much to our dismay, the parking lot was full and we had to quickly rethink our dinner plans. On to Taco Johns we went and as there aren't many of these in the cities, it put a smile on dear Joshy's face. Our experience there and interactions with the hostess provided us with a lot of fodder for the rest of the weekend. Our bellies full, we picked Grace up from the party and proceeded home to prepare for our next agenda item. My wonderful friend, Amanda, volunteered to watch the girls so we could enjoy a night on the town. Josh was anxious to check out the Sioux Falls night life. Neal and Lynette were gracious enough to pick us up and we then met up with Jes, Jay and a couple of others at Stogeez. A couple of beers later, we decided to take a brisk walk several blocks north and try out Wiley's. Jason and I had never been there and thought it was a pretty cool place. Although, I turned into an old lady and wanted to leave after awhile because it was just too loud. Man, as soon as those words came out of my mouth, I really felt ancient. But seriously, it doesn't even make sense to go to a place that you cannot hear or have a conversation with your compadres so back to Stogeez we went. I was pleased to hear a positive babysitters report upon our arrival home but wasn't surprised as the girls were very excited to have Amanda and Ralphie come over. Many thanks to you Amanda!

Saturday was a dreary day but for those of you who don't know Josh well, that didn't matter because the sun follows him around wherever he goes, figuratively speaking. The sun didn't actually come out but no matter where Josh is, good fortune is bound to follow and Saturday was no exception. After a morning of bumming around and a lunch of hot cha-chas, we were off adventuring again. Ella had another birthday party (she stuck it out for the whole party this time) and after dropping her off, we went searching for Halloween costumes for Grace and Josh. Apparently Josh just doesn't embarass easily as the pictures attached were taken in Shopko with people around. Grace thought it was pretty hilarious. Lily, on the other hand was not as amused. She is terrified of anything remotely scary and couldn't wait to get out of there. Poor thing didn't think it was very funny when I donned a freaky mask and crept around the corner at her. I suppose I will pay for that with nightmares later this week. We had no luck in the costume department and moved on. Josh wanted to check out our apartment so we detoured over there quick before picking Ella up from her party. We decided then to attempt a stop at Fryn' Pan again and this time we were met with complete success. Josh definitely sees why this is our default choice for going out to eat. He devoured the salad bar and the hot beef sandwich with glee and was ready to resume the costume search. The sun followed him right into the mall and led him to the exact costume he had in mind. Grace and Ella were delighted to find just what they were hoping for also. I guess the sun's rays extended to them as well. I am not going to ruin the surprise by revealing the costumes at this time. You will have to check back on Halloween for that! A pit stop at Sonic for slushes and we went home to relax.

As this entry is becoming much more lengthy than I intended, I will wrap it up. Joshy loaded up and took off this morning after many hugs and kisses from the girls. A terrific time was had by all and we are so glad he came to visit and hope he comes back soon!