Bullying...

Bullying as defined by Webster’s New World Dictionary, is to hurt or browbeat those who are weaker. An accurate definition? I suppose. An adequate definition? Not even close. What I feel the dictionary definition really misses the mark on is labeling the victim as the person who is weaker. I would argue that a person who feels it necessary to pick on, tease, antagonize, demean and humiliate another is truly the weaker person.

I would define bullying as the slow, painful erosion of another person’s self worth through the use of emotional, psychological and or physical harm for the purpose of making one’s self feel more powerful, more important and more fulfilled.

At first glance, one might wonder what the big deal is about bullying. School age girls talk about each other behind their backs. Girls tease each other when they are feeling insecure. It’s been going on since the beginning of time. Sometimes people are just mean. However, a series of acts intentionally targeted at one particular person, no matter how big or small the act may be is a big deal. It is a huge deal. Even the most secure, self assured person will begin questioning herself after hearing negative things about herself, day in and day out. Just think what a toll that takes on a young girl who is just forming her sense of self, whose self esteem and self confidence is tenuous at best.

People often make excuses for bullies. They haven’t had proper discipline in their lives to know better. They, themselves, have been bullied in the past. They are facing difficult life circumstances that make them lash out at others they are jealous or envious of. While these excuses may be true, they are also incredibly lame and pathetic. Does one really need to be instructed not to purposely humiliate another for personal enjoyment? Do difficult life circumstances, which everyone faces at one time or another, make it OK to another person’s life miserable? Wouldn’t being bullied in the past make one more aware of the harm that it can cause? Why are there so many excuses for an act which is utterly inexcusable?

Whether you have been a bully or been a victim, witnessed bullying of another or possibly even intervened, we’ve all had some type of experience with bullying. However, unless you have been immediately involved in the bullying, it is difficult to truly appreciate the damage it can do. No matter how many times you are told that it isn't you, isn't your fault, you can't help but think "Why me?  What did I do to deserve this?  Am I weird or annoying or bad?"  It causes one to question everything about him or her self. It can make a person think they are not worthy of better treatment. It leads to an innate sense of distrust in others around you and a lack of ability to see the good in the world.

Sadly, bullying is an issue we have had to deal with over the past several months. It’s created feelings of anger, sadness, frustration and disappointment.

I, personally, been angry, so very angry. Angry that there are people in this world who feel it necessary to treat others badly in order to make themselves feel better. Angry that my daughter has to see the fact that there are people in this world with bad intentions and that want to hurt you. Angry that her trust and faith in those around her has been tested.

However, it has also brought about feelings of immense pride and love. Pride at the type of person my daughter is. She is poised, kind, thoughtful, respectful and generous of spirit. While it would be easy and even expected to lash out at those who are hurting her, she has maintained a level of composure that most adults would be unable to find. She has been shaken but has become stronger because of her experiences. She is my hero.

Facing your fears truly takes a special kind of Grace and that is exactly what we have.

On behalf of my lovely daughter, I urge you to speak to your children about bullying and the lasting effects it can have on others. I also encourage you to think carefully about your treatment of those around you and approach each situation with kindness, with care and with Grace. It matters.

Easter 2011...

Yesterday was a perfectly glorious day. 

Our anniversary was celebrated (here are the girls and Jason posing with the 12 Years Of Marriage presentation with which I gifted Jason)...

Much to Lily's delight, the Easter bunny made a stop and it was monkey patterned Snuggies around the horn...

The obligatory Easter photo session took place, on the back patio....

In the beautifully decorated church...

And in front of the church...

And finally it was party time.  Great food, awesome family and absolutely perfect weather... 

It was enough to wear a person out...

In a good way.  Easter 2011=one of the best ever.  Hope yours was too!

My own miracle...

Easter season....a time for anguish, reflection and ultimately joy.  Jesus' suffering, crucifixion and subsequent rising from the dead to open the gates of Heaven.  A miracle of epic proportions, a miracle like no other, the miracle.  A time for celebration~to be sure.

As fate would have it, this year Easter happens to coincide with Jason and my 12 year wedding anniversary.  Now I would never presume to trivialize Easter by attempting to compare this grand event with marriage but I have to admit, I consider my marriage a miracle in it's own right.  Never did I imagine over 14 years ago that I would stumble (literally, stumble and fall) into what has proven to be my greatest accomplishment, my pride and joy, my everything.

I am quite certain that the night I met Jason so many years ago he didn't walk away from the meeting knowing he had just met the person he was going to marry.  I, on the other hand, vividly recall informing my mother that I had met the greatest guy ever, the guy that was my forever.  I do, however, believe he knew it.  I'm not necessarily a believer in love at first sight but I did know that the man I had just met was unlike any other I had ever known.  He had more character, more honesty, more humor and more goodness~I could just tell. 

What I didn't know at that time was his kindness.  How he thinks nothing of providing a meal or a ride to someone in need.  How he is the first one to help a friend who is moving.  How he will lend a hand, a nail gun or a $20 bill~no questions asked.  How careful he is with the feelings of his girls (me included).

What I didn't know at that time was his patience.  How he could listen endlessly to my stories, my questions, my insecurities and my opinions.  How he could run up and down the sidewalk alongside his training wheel-less daughter while she nervously learned how to ride on two wheels.  How he could thoughtfully consider options and provide feedback no matter how many times I asked what we should have for supper.

What I didn't know at that time was what an unbelievable father he would be.  How he could love his little girls so that there will never be a doubt in their minds that they are worthy of love.  How he takes them on little adventures that they will remember for the rest of their lives.  How he tucks them in every single night and kisses them goodbye every morning before he leaves for work, even though they are sound asleep.

What I didn't know at that time was what an absolutely incredible husband he would be.  How he would get up at 430AM for work but stay up to watch a movie with me just so we could be together.  How he would not only allow but encourage me to put my cold feet on him so I could warm up.  How he would take time out of his busy day to call me just to say hi because he knows how much that means to me.

What I didn't know at that time was if he felt the same way about me as I did about him.  What I didn't know was if he would call me for a 1st date after our initial meeting.  What I didn't know was what I would be missing if he didn't make that call.  Thankfully, he saw something in me that made him call and made him want to stick around.

14 years ago we met at Nutty's over a tall Coors Light and some shuffleboard.
13 years ago we became engaged, on the bike trail after weeks and weeks of my speculation as to the when and how.
12 years ago, this Sunday we promised to love each other for all the days of our lives.

My own little miracle. 
I love you Jason.  You are my why and my how.

Long time no see...

The Kolb household has been busy lately~there's just no two ways about it.  I'd been thinking that Spring was a nice, relaxing season of hanging around, enjoying the nice weather and endless amounts of free time with walks and bike rides around the neighborhood.  I'm not sure where I got that idea because all this Spring has brought with it is really unfriendly weather and lots of school year end wrap up events.  I've landed on several committees at school: book fair, year-end party, talent show and 5th grade party.  In addition to meeting after meeting for those committees, we've got Girl Scouts and soccer to figure into the equation.  Add in Jason's ridiculously busy work schedule and all of the other day to day business and we've had very little time for leisure. 

Fortunately, all of these activities and events are by our choosing and we enjoy each and every one of them.  Unfortunately, I haven't had much time to document these moments.  However, I have caught a few images on camera and have included them for your viewing pleasure.

Here are my favorite subjects assisting me in testing out my new camera...

 Although Ella has been rained out for her first two games, the clouds parted long enough for Lily to play.  With a smile from ear to ear, she ran, kicked and scored...

This past Saturday we were thrilled to celebrate the engagement of Clifford (Jason's older brother) and his lovely fiance, Shelly.  It was a fantastic night and we couldn't be more excited for the main event next April...

Jason was so excited about it all, he even serenaded the happy couple much to the delight of the crowd...

With the weatherman forecasting nothing but bad news for days, Lily and I decided to take advantage of the one nice day this week and hit our favorite destination, the zoo.  Kindergarten is calling and our afternoons spent visiting the animals will be coming to an end.  I'm sincerely hoping that we can squeeze in one or two more trips before school dismisses for the year because these afternoons are truly among my favorite times. 

And how could they not be when I have this adorable sidekick...

Overwhelmed, scattered, inadequate~all feelings I've had lately.  It's easy to become bogged down in the minutiae of life.  However, when I step back and take a breath I realize it is the little things, the details, the soccer games, Girl Scout meetings, math homework and trips to the grocery store that make up this wonderful, hectic life that I have been blessed with and I wouldn't want to miss a moment of it.  My life is full.  Full of activities, cleaning, chauffeuring, listening, disciplining, meetings and errands.  But more than anything it is full of laughter, happiness and love~for that I am thankful.