April Fool's Day is the perfect holiday for me. I love tricking people and playing jokes but it wasn't until my very successful April Fool's Day moment a couple years ago that I became truly hooked. Jason drinks coffee most cold mornings and April 1st, 2007 was no exception. What was different about this particular day was unbeknownst to him, I had swapped the sugar for salt so when he spruced his piping hot mug with his chosen condiments, he sabotaged himself. I laughed to myself all day off and on when I thought of him telling me, "Man, my coffee just didn't taste right today."
I have been racking my brain for the perfect prank for the past week or so and had not come up with anything by this morning. I was hoping for inspiration to strike but when it didn't, I just had to make a move. While packing Ella's lunch, my first opportunity presented itself. In with her normal sandwich, oreos, grapes and pudding went a can of tuna and a spaghetti sauce seasoning packet. Very 2nd grade-ish but a perfect little surprise for Ella Bella.
Grace has acquired my taste for fooling people and so she was desperately trying to come up with something this morning as well. She asked me to "Google some ideas so we can get Dad." Onto the computer I hopped, searching for something, anything. Nothing really tickled my funny bone but there were a couple ideas I kept in the back of my mind for consideration. Lily and I went about our day with no further thoughts of jokes, pranks or other shenanigans but as soon as Grace and Ella jumped in the car afterschool, the discussion resumed. Ella was giggling about the tuna and spaghetti and Grace and her classmate/fellow carpooler regaled us with stories of SUPER FUNNY tricks the 3rd graders had pulled on their very unsuspecting (i'm sure) teacher. We dropped the boys off and after a quick snack and homework, the brainstorming continued. I cannot count the number of times I heard one of the girls say something like, "There's a spider on your head. April Fool's!" or "You have pudding on your shirt, April Fool's!" or the ever so clever "There's a bug on your back.....APRIL FOOL's!" As for the big trick for Jason, Grace and I finally settled on painting the toilet seat with corn syrup. It is supposed to dry clear and smooth. Once someone sits down for a spell, it warms the syrup and causes some minor stickage. Easy to pull off, completely harmless and potentially very funny.
After we convinced Lily I was just cleaning the toilet seat so she wouldn't spoil the surprise, we sat back and waited for Jason to arrive home. He came, we ate (there was one tense moment filled with shushes and furtive glares when I thought Ella was going to spill the beans) and finally it was time for Jason to retire to the facilities. Of course, fooling Mr. Kolb isn't as easy as one might think and he immediately wanted to know what was all over the toilet seat. Grace, the consumate actress, tried to convince him there was nothing there but for some odd reason (perhaps the fact the corn syrup had dried clear but also goopy and bumpy was a minor tip off) he just wasn't convinced. My little optimists, Ella and Grace, were sure he would buy the "Mom just cleaned the toilet. There is nothing on there." story Grace was selling and quickly made a APRIL FOOL'S sign. They parked themselves in our closet waiting to ambush him with the sign as he exited the bathroom. He came out, they jumped out and everyone had a big laugh. Unfortunately, he had not been duped, had cleaned the seat before settling in and the joke was on us.
As I was waiting for Jason to finish using the bathroom, I decided to put another plan into action. Ella and Lily are both pop fiends and walk around grabbing any stray cans and sucking them down. During post-supper clean up, Jason realized this habit provided us with the perfect April Fool's set up and suggested the old tried and true, salt in the soda trick. While Ella was distracted with her own tom foolery and Lily was standing right next to me but oblivious to my devious plan, I put a healthy amount of salt in Jason's Diet Root Beer and next I loaded up my Diet Coke. I kind of April Fooled myself when my Diet Coke volcanoed on me and spewed pop all over the counter when it reacted with the sodium. Lily became slightly suspicious as I was cleaning that mess up but preying on her innocence, I assured her the pop was fine and to go ahead and take a drink. Her reaction was priceless. Her face conveyed complete and utter disgust, she started waving her hand back and forth, spitting a little and saying, "YUCK" over and over.
When I asked what was wrong she said, "That pop tastes terrible." and looked absolutely baffled. I sat back in anticipation as she grabbed the Diet Root Beer to wash away the horrid taste of salty Diet Coke. Unfortunately, she apparently likes salty Diet Root Beer because she said it tasted fine and swished it around her mouth as if it were Listerine.
I went on my merry way and was in the basement enjoying America's Next Top Model and had forgotten all about the pop when Ella came barrelling down the stairs on the verge of hysterics. I asked her what was wrong and through her tears she said, "I had some of that pop and it tasted like fro-up." Laughing I replied, "April Fool's!". Not seeing the humor, she informed me, "That wasn't very funny." Ella, I respectfully disagree!
Even though we didn't pull off any super sweet hoaxes, it was a memorable day for Ella and Grace anyway. Ella's last words to me as I was leaving her bedroom were, "Happy April Fool's Day, Mom!" and Old Grace was determined to get the last laugh. As I was tucking her in she asked me, "Will you put a book in Daddy's pillow with our April Fool's sign?". That's my girl! Like any good mother would, I followed through with her wishes and was giggling quietly to myself as Jason climbed into bed and readied his pillows for maximum comfort. Of course, he made the literary discovery before laying his pretty little head down but we both had a good laugh anyway!
So, no homeruns for us this time around. Oh well....I guess there is always next year. I will never again be caught unprepared. Beware, the planning has already begun.........
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